Endless Summer (or at least favorites)
Hello Ammurrrica!
My name is Gabriel Luis Manga. I am a friend of Marisa’s from high school. We share a common love of great (although sometimes mediocre) food and wit. Before I begin my review of Applebees’ newest promotion I believe you the reader should know a little more about me.
I love bad food. This is not to say that I don’t eat healthy, I was raised on tofu, brown rice, and broccoli. It is just that I also love bad food. I love shitty pork fried rice from Chinese food places that stay open until 3 AM. I love KFC. I love anything fried. I go to the University of Michigan and work at a Cafeteria there. Sometimes when we serve cheesecake or fried chicken and I am working in the dishroom and an untouched piece of that item comes back, I will just eat it.
I have driven two hours each way with friends from school to go to a Sonic, and that was after a failed mission where we got lost in Ohio. Well worth it. With this knowledge you can then imagine my excitement when on a boring Tuesday afternoon with most of my friends going back to school I witnessed the commercial (read vision) in the post above.
at that moment I texted my good friend Mark, and the decision was made, that night we would partake in this extravaganza. I rode my bike to the Cleveland Circle Applebees where I was surprised to find a bike rack. I then asked myself, why does Applebees have a bike rack? Think about the kind of people that ride bikes. Then think about the kind of people that eat at Applebees. Exactly. Maybe they had just planned that someday Mark and I would ride our bikes there and that then, on that day, the installation of that bike rack would pay off. Mark soon rolled into the parking lot and we locked out bikes to the previously never used bike rack. As Mark locked his bike next to mine I thought I smelt the distinctive sent of Busch Light. I asked him if he had been drinking. The answer was yes. Good times.
We entered Applebees and took in the atmosphere. The Red Sox game on TV’s, subdued and maybe depressed couples, old people, and of course lots of Boston paraphernalia. This ranged from the obvious Celtics and Red Sox posters and pennants to the more obscure pictures of the guy who played Starsky on of the TV show Starsky and Hutch. Apparently Uma Thurmon is also from Boston because she was also on the wall. It turns out she is actually from Amherst, but hey whose counting? My personal favorite was the New Kids On The Block poster. I had no need for a menu as I was on a mission. Mark and I decided that we would get the total experience by having one of us order the “Riblets” and one of us the Chicken Fingers. These would then be open to all both of us because they were endless. Our waiter Anthony soon arrived. It was pretty awkward. He reminded both of us of that guy who takes Michael Cera and friends to the party in Superbad. That and his matching of shorts with dress shoes and mid calf black socks. He was also really really tan. Our meal soon arrived and the extravaganza began.
The food also came with unlimited french fries, which was awesome. They were really good and had a little seasoning. Revelation number one came upon my first bite into my riblets. Turns out, contrary to how they are portrayed on TV (or at least in my dreams), riblets are not boneless. Riblets are just like Korean short ribs, only with BBQ sauce. This isn’t that much of a bad thing, just a little shocking. I wanted my money’s worth so I dug in. Honey Mustard sauce also accompanied both Mark’s chicken fingers and my riblets. Turns out Honey Mustard sauce isn’t really good with ribs. I tried some of the Chicken Fingers and I must admit that I think those were probably the better decision. Anthony then came back and took away our first plates and said he would be back out soon with another batch. I scolded Mark for not finishing his Coleslaw.
Anthony returned with our second helping, and as is the case with many all you can eat offers the portions and serving plate were smaller. No mind though, because, it is all you can eat and the portions, no matter what side, are not allowed to stop, ever. This process would continue twice more. Mark and I then decided that after our third helping we would request one more, take a bite, and then ask for it to go. Mark also had the plan for our return trip, in which we bring backpacks, and proceed to fill the backpacks with the limitless chicken fingers (riblets would require a plastic bag, and could get messy). Mark also started to fill his pockets with chicken fingers wrapped in napkins. A good move.
Content with our endeavor we took our to-go boxes and left the magical hut that is Applebees. Overall I believe it was a good experience. In retrospect I probably should have just got the Chicken Fingers. However, you live, you learn. Basically this deal is great if you haven’t eaten all day or are a stoner. If you fit both of those descriptions then you will view this meal like Kim Jong Il views Elvis, with endless love.
I don’t know how to do links or embed video with tumblr, so this review is lacking the total experience, maybe upon figuring that out I will edit it.
Thanks for this opportunity Marisa.
